Wrestling with Grace – Eye for an Eye

I have wrestled with this post for over a month now having written and re-written more times than I care to remember. Trying to sum this up into a few words has been almost impossible, but I can’t seem to drop it so here we go.

I was reading through the book of Exodus and got stuck on chapter 21, “eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot…” This is not generally a popular verse in the Bible, namely because Jesus seems to correct this passage in the New Testament when He told us to turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:38-42).  For me, turning the other cheek is easy, but not because I am necessarily gracious, but because its convenient.  I am not so much into confrontation, while others seem to live for it. So while turning the other cheek for some comes naturally, it completely misses the essence of what Jesus is trying to say.

In the law, “eye for an eye” has an element of grace to it. If you spend some time reading the events of the Bible leading up to this, you will see a lot of stories that seem to have come out of an old western movie. There are examples of entire villages being wiped out because one person wronged another, and it wouldn’t have stopped at just the events the Bible recorded–it’s crazy to think these were isolated incidents. “Eye for an eye” in the context of the law is not a justification for retaliation, but rather a limitation of punishment. As though the law were saying, ‘you cannot demand of someone else more than what was taken from you.’ In light of this, most would not have a problem with this passage–most live right here in the world of “eye-for-an-eye” without realizing it or seeing ourselves as doing wrong.

This is why I believe we lose the power of what Jesus actually said in the New Testament. Most of us would find it hard to limit our reaction to the level of the offense. There will always be a push for others to feel our pain, to fully experience the extent of what they did to us.

I reckon Jesus, knowing this said, “you have heard it said ‘eye for an eye, and tooth for a tooth’ But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles”*.  I believe this links in with the parable of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18.  Here we see the story of a man who owed a king a great debt and was unable to repay it.  The king ordered that he, his family and his belongings be sold to meet the debt.  The man cried out for mercy, and the king, moved with compassion, forgave the debt in full.  No sooner had the man left when he spotted one of his co-workers who owed him a minuscule debt.  He demanded to be repaid and when his co-worker could not, he had his co-worker thrown in prison. Word got back to the king. Furious at the man’s lack of mercy, he held the man to his debt, handing him over to the jailers until the debt could be repaid.

Maybe Jesus is actually challenging us on the fact that as we have received such an incredible grace, what is there that we could ask of someone else – to make up for their wrongs – that would compare to the grace already given us?

It’s as though Jesus were saying “You have heard it said ‘as those who identify themselves as recipients of God’s love, kindness and grace, don’t demand more of someone else that what was taken from you. But I tell you this, In recognition of that grace, don’t take anything at all, just trust God and let it slide. And if someone, who is well within their rights and has not had this revelation of grace, tries to take from you, don’t disregard or put your revelation on them. Trust God all the more, give them more than what they deserve or what’s required, and watch as He reveals Himself through you.”

Maybe you’re like me–I can be reasonable and think I’m being righteous in doing so. Eye for eye, I’m not after any more than that. I just want what’s right. right? And when I screw up, I am big enough to admit my fault and try to make up for what I did wrong. All the while, I’m completely losing perspective. The more I push for what seems fair and right, the more I completely lose the point of what Jesus did, what grace actually cost and the part I play having been given grace.

If you and I look at what we have been given through grace, there is nothing we can get from anyone else that would come close to what we have already received.  Grace gives everything and demands nothing.  Unlimited by our understanding, grace doesn’t need to receive grace to be able to give it–grace is always prepared to carry the cost when no one else is and grace will do it over and over again.

When we begin to catch this revelation of grace, things around us begin to change.  Complaining doesn’t make sense, comparisons become far more effort than they are worth, and what we think we deserve – what the world owes us – becomes shallow and meaningless. Our entitlements become lost in the light of grace and what we’re left with is a recognition of who Jesus is and what He has done. Out of the grace we have, we find what we need to love others.

* Matthew 5:38-42 (NIV)

Photo’s by ilkin., Ashley Campbell Photography & Alisha Starke


2 thoughts on “Wrestling with Grace – Eye for an Eye

  1. This is absolutely excellent and EXACTLY what I needed to hear today.

    What about boundaries?

    Where does grace fit in with setting boundaries with people who are abusive and to say it quite frankly, demonic?

    Do we turn the other cheek or do we set boundaries with them?

    I know that boundary setters can seemingly be confrontational… to me I’m loving them by showing them that you can’t treat me like this… as God said, “… to love others as you love yourself.” For people who have been raised in abusive families, this grace message only reeks havoc, as it allows for more abuse to an already battered soul.

    What is the balance in regards to the above stated, I’d like to hear your input.


    1. Sorry its taken me a while to reply. Its something I am sure others would have probably thought about. Not knowing the situation, you really need to pray but balance in this case is not about finding a middle road between forgiving and letting those people hurt you, and boundaries while holding a grudge. You need to embrace both grace completely AND boundaries in certain situations.

      Grace is absolute. You cant balance grace by forgiving some people but not forgiving those who hurt you again and again. You try to “balance” grace, and its no longer grace, its deserved, and thats not grace at all.

      HOWEVER, there is grace and then there is wisdom. Putting yourself into a situation that is hurting and abusive, is totally unwise. To forgive someone, does not mean becoming a doormat for their abuse. But it doesn’t mean you becoming abusive towards them. Some relationships you need God to give you wisdom in navigating, abusive situations you need to remove yourself from the influence of, and the best way to remove yourself from the influence of a bad-relationship is to forgive them. Sometimes hurt can live on longer than the people who hurt us. That’s why removing ourselves from abusive situations is wise, but if we don’t forgive in the process, but its incomplete.

      So much more to say on this though. Personally, I have been in more situations that I could use as justification to be bitter, twisted and spiteful to the world around me, but in the long run, I cant hold a grudge and become Christlike, looking at what Paul says in 2 Cor 3:17-18 that as we get a revelation of who God is, the more our lives are being transformed more and more into His image. Because He is gracious towards me, I gotta be gracious towards others. I gotta deal with the stuff in me, not try to fix their stuff first. By holding onto hurt, I have more to lose, than those who hurt me, un-forgiveness is toxic, and the biggest favour I can do to myself is release them, pray for them, forgive them and move on to all God has in-store. Maybe part of the equation is asking God to reveal where you need to change, to be more gracious, and to have wisdom when it comes to the relationships and boundaries you have with people around you. That part of the question I cant answer, and ultimately, its between you and Jesus, but hopefully amongst all this there is something to think about.

      There is a lot more that could be said, but I should do a post on it sometime and look at it in more detail.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s